What I’ve found

I really do like my life, even with this stupid cancer hanging over my head.  I am doing things I really enjoy – hiking, time with friends and family, art.  Even when I’m dealing with sadness, I am still very happy with life.

There is so much to be grateful for.  My health is good, all chronic conditions aside.  I can be active.  I feel good.  I look healthy.  I am pain free.

I have so much love in my life.  My husband, Reil, is supportive.  He is my rock, in a quiet, supportive way.  When the kids are in bed, we watch tv, and he holds my hand.  He gives me comfort and sends me strength.  And I don’t even know if he realizes it.

I have two wonderful kids who motivate me to keep healthy, even when, or perhaps particularly when, they fight or annoy one another.  I plan to be here when the eye-rolling and under the breath mumbling stops.  When they reach the age where they realize that moms really do know something after all.  (That day will come, won’t it?)

I have friends who make me laugh, give me support, challenge me, give me cocktails, give me hugs.  They’ll let me talk about life with cancer – the pain, the blessings, the annoyances – but won’t ever let me define myself by the cancer inside me.  They keep me involved and connected.

I have strong support systems, and am building more through different cancer groups in the area.  Whether it is the family group, where all four of us find support and camaraderie; cooking or art classes that allow me to meet and create with other women; my weekly cancer support group; or my blogging community (hello!), I am building relationships with others on this path.

I have outlets that can help me cope.  I hike and walk for the therapeutic benefits, both physical and emotional.  I make crafts and do art.  I play games.  I read, more slowly than I used to, but I read.  There are lots of things I want to do, to accomplish in whatever time I have left.  It’s just more concentrated than it used to be.


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