Update

Late Tuesday night I got home from my Live by Living trip to Colorado.  I’ll write more on that later, when I’ve been able to process all my thoughts and feelings about it.  For now, I can just say that it was an amazing, wonderful trip.

Coming home, I feel like I’ve been dropped in this strangely foreign world once more, and have to readjust.  I haven’t had time to sit back and reflect as I’d like.  Instead, my days have been filled with carting the kids to school, volunteering in the middle school library,and running around to various appointments.  (You know, all the normal day to day things for the parent of tweens and teens.)  I’m writing this post quickly so that I can make it to an appointment across the bay in Palo Alto later this morning.

I have written about my troubles breathing, and before I left, things seemed to get pretty bad on that front.  Climbing the steps to our front door would leave me winded, as would chasing the cat across our (not large) back yard.  I didn’t have much respite from breathing issues when I was in Colorado – although the air was lovely and clean, there wasn’t much of it at 11000 feet.   I do notice a slight positive difference now that I’m back down at sea level, though I suspect that won’t last for much longer.

Before I left, I talked to my doctor about the breathing problems, and he brought up the possibility of heart failure caused by pazopanib/votrient, my targeted therapy drug.   One of my appointments yesterday was with the cardiology department at Kaiser, where I had an echocardiogram to check my heart.  I still need to wait a few days for results, but I’m hoping that it won’t be the cause of the problems.

I’m not sure what I’d like the cause of the problems to be – most of the possibilities that come to mind aren’t pretty.  I’m much more worried about how my breathing problems will affect my quality of life than I think I’ve let on.  Strangely, I don’t feel worried about it affecting my life span, just my quality of life.  As I get more information, I’ll continue to update.

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