There is no dignity in cancer. Cancer affords no break in the pain and the discomfort it brings.
Last week’s radiation therapy proved to be useful. My leg and hip bones no longer hurt. I can walk up and down stairs. I can stand on one foot. It’s a success.
But, of course it can’t be that easy. I can’t get a win without at least one loss.
My leg joints are wonky. There is a kink in my left leg that feels like a pinched nerve. It kicks in when I get up, leaves me struggling to gain balance.
My right arm has decided to go lame this weekend. I can’t use my hand as I used to. I need to support my arm when I hold my phone. I can’t type well, and only with difficulty. Reil had to cut my meat last night. It’s scary and it’s frustrating. It gives me the creepy crawlies and the habit jeebies.
I’m trying to go off morphine. And instead of just dropping one dose a day, I forgot to take another, and ended up agitated, stomping around the house. Combined with the heebie jeebies and creepy crawlies, it isn’t a good mix.
And on top of all that, I peed my pants on the way to the bathroom.
Can’t I have one week where I’m not dealing with all of this? Where I just feel normal? Even just a day?