My cyber knife radiation treatment starts at 3 pm tomorrow. I plan to have a very chill morning – Reil and I can Netflix and chill (in the old sense of the phrase), do some laundry, and then over to the Peninsula for a light dumpling lunch. I’ll take extra steroids along. I’ll take a hit off my joint and I’ll take an ativan, just to make sure. 

I really don’t have too many worries. It’s supposed to be mild and go smoothly. Maybe a headache. Maybe a bit of extra swelling so my arm’s affected for a day or so. Maybe fatigue. All easily handled. 

But there’s always that little nagging part. Because it’s the brain. So we spent time as a family together today. Molly and I got our nails done. And I went off and recorded a “just in case” video on my phone. And wrote an extra letter to one kid, which was promptly lost by human error. I’ll start again tomorrow and it will be clearer for having written it twice. 

I’ve also popped an ambien for the first time in a while, in hopes that I can sleep past 4:30am. My nights have been sleepless (maybe 5 hours if I’m lucky), but at least they aren’t angst filled.  Just a long, quiet, dark morning with the cats. Let’s hope tonight provides a solid 7. 

And for now, I’ll probably wait till say Hello from the other side.