My first quilting goal this year was to make quilts for my husband and my kids. Not the wall hangings that I usually make, but something larger that they can wrap themselves up in my love.
My second goal was to do the same for my siblings. I’ve almost accomplished those goals. Most are coming home from the quilter tonight.
And now, once again, I’ve got that lazy/dumb/crippled arm. It’s really affecting all my limbs, but mostly my right arm. I feel worried that it’s not just exhaustion, that it’s progression of the brain mets. That I’m never going to get use back. Because that means no more quilting, no more being creative in that way that means so much to me.
I wasn’t planning on that. I hope it doesn’t come to that.
In the meantime, I’m sleeping a lot. I can’t do much else. Everything just drags. It’s to the point that I don’t move from room to room if I don’t absolutely have to.
I started on Kaiser hospice today, and I got a hospital bed. It’s not very comfortable when flat, but with head and knees up, it is nice. I’ve ordered a pad to go on top of the mattress.
I feel like I’ve been a bear lately. I’m grumpy. I can’t remember words and that’s frustrating. I just want to be not so exhausted.