Brain games

I’m going through lots of ups and downs.

My brain doesn’t work like it used to.  Language is a struggle. Today I was able to to recall the words “pulled  a muscle” for the first time since I fell on Monday. Score one for word recall. But it’s not all been that easy.  The frustration has been growing. I’ve recognized that I like nuanced language, but can’t manage it, so I have to accept other things will have to work. People will understand me. 

I over did myself on Thursday and have have really had to cut back. I feel more energy today but it’s still going to be a few more days of nothingness. 

For any sort of reference, this sort of post takes me about 8-12 minutes to write  – at least twice what it used too. 

It seems like  a one note tune here sometimes – how do we keep up every little or big thing going on. 

After my seizure,  I started on anti-seizure medicine, and tried to get back to normal.  However, two weeks ago today, it became clear that the med (Keppra) wasn’t going to cooperate.  I was hit by depression and thoughts of self harm. Reil and the hospice team jumped right in.  

The social work team was there every day helping me work through some of /most of my immediate emotional issues. The doctors and nurses getting me through the medical ones. 

We are are in the process of changing the anti-seizure medicine to Depacote, but had to wait til that hit full strength before reducing the the Keppra. The combo of the two meds was very fatiging.

Luckily I am starting the decrease of the Keppra, and I feel more energy every day.   But I I also notice more issues with my brain  – probably due to my metastases – slower thought process etc. Whatever.  Just trying to work with it. 

I did take two falls this week end, so my nurse and I  will talk about that today    and I think that has to be the end of this post now.